Another Bloody Bike Ride

Sleeper trains are bad times, you know, because we always arrive at 
our destination at like stupid o'clock in the morning. I think it 
would be much more civilised to board the train a few hours later, so 
that we could alight at a reasonable hour. Apparently, that is 
impossible, so we got off the train in Danang at about five in the 
morning. We then had an hour on the bus to Hoi An.

Hoi An is a cool place, I like it a lot. Unfortunately, I did not 
appreciate the coolosity of Hoi An when we arrived at the hotel at six 
o'clock to be told that we were going on a bike ride. A bike ride. 
Another sodding bike ride. I tell you, I have spent more time on a 
bike in the last three weeks than I have in the last ten years at 
home. I will have major leg muscles when I return. Anyway, we hopped 
on our bikes and rode to the beach. We had a little swim and it was 
awfully pleasant.

In the afternoon times we went on a walk round Hoi An. There are some 
nice things to see there, for example a nice Chinese temple and an old 
Japanese bridge and some old merchants houses. We saw some of those 
things and they were very pleasant, but the main thing in Hoi An is 
tailors. There are tailors freaking everywhere. "You want dress, lady?
I make dress for you". Good times.

I didn't want a dress. I did, however want some shoes. Some slag 
shoes, as I have taken to calling them. In fact, I have taken to 
calling them something different, but the name was inspired by a 
horrid person I used to know, and if this person should ever read 
this, I would not like this person to discover the name of the shoes, 
because this person may then come and punch me. Much safer to keep it 
off the Internet. I do jot want to get punched, no sir. We had a look 
at a shoe making place and it looked very promising. Yey.

That evening we went out for a nice meal. Becky had this weird tuna 
thing that she did not like in the slightest. She ate hardly any of it, 
so she thought it might be a good idea to hide the dirty tuna 
underneath the banana leaf that it was served on. She did not do it very 
discreetly, and she didn't realise that the waitress was standing right 
behind her just when she plopped the dirty tuna upside down in 
disgust. The waitress did not look happy, and poor Beck Bex was 
majorly embarrassed. We reckon the waitress spat in her pancake as 
revenge. Lol.

I did not have dirty tune for dinner.  I had sweet and sour pork.  Oh man, I love
sweet and sour.  It is the shizz.